I desire to be desired for my mind and perhaps, that makes me different. I used to believe my physical would get me what I need, but I’ve realized how that would create an unstable foundation for me. I value the solidity of self.
There are days I feel suffocated by people who continue to believe we are nothing more than a shell and the emptiness consumes me. It is like being sucked into a whirlwind of insecurities and I do not feel comfort there.
The most beautiful gift is one of connective conversation. I used to believe that deep conversations were most important, but through experience I’ve learned that it is more about connection, than content.
Meaningful conversations will make its way into a relationship if the connection fits and the energy flows.
I fall in love with insight and opinion, always asking the question, “Well, how does that make you feel?” or “What do you think about it?” and it is pure curiosity that sparks these conversations. I have learned not to take it personal if I am not met with the same enthusiasm because everyone is on a different journey and who am I to force myself on others? But there are those who are willing to exchange and the excitement burns a flame. It is with these people I desire to be consumed with.
What am I to do, in a society obsessed with physicality but I desire mindfulness? What is beautiful to me, may not be beautiful to others, but does that mean I’m unwanted? Or perhaps it’s not even about others, but truly that I believe in my own strength. The beautiful ones will come along. And until then, there is nothing wrong with having my head in the clouds, but feet planted firmly on the ground.